The walls so familiar, he knew every pattern in the grain of the wood but today, it was his wailing wall, his prison wall; if walls could talk. Open cupboard doors and garbage bags screamed at him of finality, that she had really left, that she would not be back, that he was alone.
Better to have loved..
He picked up her hair elastic from the floor, squeezed it, making a fist; images of her in their bed, making familiar sounds with someone else. Tears would not come, pounding heart, filled with seething rage, aching heart of disbelief, incredulous meandering back to the nightmare images.
Except he was awake, alive and cognisant of the fact that this was real, that the only way out was to die, go to his mortgaged basement and die. Something stopped him, something snapped in him, staring at his hands, ripped off the wedding band, threw it, watching it spiralling into the rose bushes
than to have never..
He showered, shaved, pulled out a clean shirt, dressing carefully, did up each button slowly, thoughtfully, did up his belt, put on clean socks. Pulling out of the driveway, he blindly drove to the office; finally tears came, he pulled over, wailing into the steering wheel, deep, mournful sobs
been loved before..
He drove to the liquor store, wiping his eyes on the sleeve of his clean shirt; there would be no work for him today – maybe no work tomorrow. Returning to the scene of her crime, he cracked the seal of the bottle; sitting in the middle of the floor, a hair elastic still clutched in his hand.
© Brenda-Lee Ranta
Excerpt from the book “Allegories”
About the Author
Brenda-Lee Ranta resides in Timmins, Ontario, Canada. She shares her journey with her life partner who is a drummer, lyricist and emerging poet. She is the mother of three children, two step-children and three grand-children. She prefers to be less ambiguous in her writing and more direct, while maintaining a lyrical flow in her verse. She holds strong political views, believing in equanimity for all humankind. These views also find their way into her choice of subject matter when writing. She is very sensitive to the emotions and plight of those around her. A writer for over 51 years of her life, she was first included as a contributor to an Anthology, titled, “Imperfect Paths,” published by Creative Talents Unleashed Publishing Group. She had a lifelong dream full-filled when her first book ”Myriad of Perceptions” was published by CTU Publishing Group in November of 2016. It attained a five star rating from ‘Readers Favorite,’ which was quite humbling, being her first book. “Allegories – A Thirst for Connection” is her second book of prose and poetry. She is very honoured to share these new writings with her readers.
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