Author Brenda-Lee Ranta – Cancer of Functionality

 

I wish I could rip fear out of my chest;

surgical solution, like a tooth extraction

 

Immobilizing fear from nowhere,

gripping fear from everywhere

Reduced; a woman to child in seconds,

humiliated, my shaking hands are visible,

dry tongue pasted firmly to my palate,

thundering heart, breath shallow, thin,

ears abuzz, louder than fluorescent lighting,

racing thoughts of dread, trying to escape,

“where are the exits?” a self escape even

Houdini can’t accomplish; trapped inside

with yourself, wanting to simply vanish

immobilizing fear from nowhere

gripping fear from everywhere

 

Shame will come later, once the terror

leaves, begging it to leave; “please leave,”

how can I be so strong and withstand this;

how can I be so weak and allow this?

Proficient to inept in one fell swoop,

detesting myself, then forgiving myself,

damned dichotomy, cursed dichotomy,

this affliction, this condition, this raging

cancer of functionality; putrid anxiety!

Immobilizing fear from nowhere

gripping fear from everywhere

 

I wish I could rip fear out of my chest;

surgical solution, like a heart transplant.

 

© Brenda-Lee Ranta

allegories

Excerpt from the book “Allegories”


brenda-lee About the Author

Brenda-Lee Ranta resides in Timmins, Ontario, Canada. She shares her journey with her life partner who is a drummer, lyricist and emerging poet. She is the mother of three children, two step-children and three grand-children. She prefers to be less ambiguous in her writing and more direct, while maintaining a lyrical flow in her verse. She holds strong political views, believing in equanimity for all humankind. These views also find their way into her choice of subject matter when writing. She is very sensitive to the emotions and plight of those around her. A writer for over 51 years of her life, she was first included as a contributor to an Anthology, titled, Imperfect Paths,” published by Creative Talents Unleashed Publishing Group. She had a lifelong dream full-filled when her first book Myriad of Perceptions was published by CTU Publishing Group in November of 2016.  It attained a five star rating from ‘Readers Favorite,’ which was quite humbling, being her first book. Allegories – A Thirst for Connection is her second book of prose and poetry.  She is very honoured to share these new writings with her readers.

 Visit Brenda-Lee’s Author Page At: www.ctupublishinggroup.com/brenda-lee-ranta-.html



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2 replies

  1. Reblogged this on The Lyrical Quill and commented:
    an excerpt from my book

    Like

  2. Reblogged this on My Inner Voice and commented:
    This is such a brilliant depiction of what anxiety feels like.

    Like

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