Life and Death – Author Kesau’c N. Hill

What is death?


Death is long nights in a prison

cell listening to homemade knives

being scraped on the floors, fashioned

to knock a chunk out of your vital organs.

While counting how many times

it’s been on again.


Full of anxiety wondering if I’m

fashioning mine correctly.

But coming to the conclusion that I’ll

use it for them to respect me.


All the while I’m reaching for life…


Death is standing under the gunners

aim to make a collect call and hoping to

collect all of what comes with shame.

Leads to praying that the receiving party

loves you enough to say, “Yes” to the

prison charges.


You’re upset because you could’ve plead

guilty to lesser charges, but the charge is

being born a black male,

thus, we were all blackmailed into acting

like the system is fair instead of for the

fare; plead guilty, now we’re the ostracized

who populate the middle of nowhere.


Reaching for life…


Death is contemplating the humiliation

I’m due to be drug through for the sake

of receiving a visit from the one’s I

love. Like, get butt ass naked, lift up

my dick and nuts so that the police

can see.


“Turn around bend over, spread your cheeks,

squat and cough for me, now let me

see the bottom of your feet.” Like

their job is to find a way of mentally fuckin me.

Each week lynching a grown man’s dignity.


Reaching for life…


Death is a long day after gunshots, bloodshed’

and fuck you stares. Like why the fuck you here?

And why the fuck in here bad shit comes in pairs?

So, I’m in prayer.

Praying that things are better by the morning.


But I got to be honest, I feel

my anger growing.

Drowning in conflict reaching for help

and caught in a whirlwind with no one

but myself.


Reaching for life…


Death is six directions of concrete

with no hope to help. But I know

someone is praying for me cause new

hope is felt.


It’s not on the surface but somewhere

deep in the self. It’s hard, but I got to

stay hard enough to bare the crown

upon my head and not the one below

the belt.


Reaching for life…


I can tell you a lot about death because it’s

something I’ve dealt with at the depths of

myself. The depths of this struggle demand more

then myself and the Moor I need is your help.


You’re the life that offsets my death.

Create it and I’ll forge the rest. Love me

deeply and I’ll be my best.


Reaching for life…


© Kesau’c N. Hill

Serengeti Noise

Excerpt from his book Serengeti Noise

$12.95 Plus Shipping ~ Available at CTU Publishing Group and

16797883_740202076158170_3350406013219101455_oAbout the Author

Kesau’c N. Hill is an ex-gang member who, at the age of sixteen, was convicted of murder and sentenced to serve 15-years to Life in the California Department of Corrections. Fighting became a lifestyle that would accompany the gang world deathstyle. However, he would soon be mentored by an English teacher named John Murphy who saw past his tough guy exterior into something explosively creative.

He introduced him to the art of poetry and the power of the spoken word. He’d use that power to his advantage when his life serving Life became too difficult to bear. By defiantly writing poetry all over his prison cell walls “meaning” and “Passion” was discovered, hope and a sound vision was realized. Quite literally, poetry saved his life.

Visit Kesau’c Hill’s Author Page At

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