Depression – Author Don Beukes

 

Forced to face my inner demons

I blame myself for my elected

negligence in understanding my

historic tsunamis of erratic masked

emotions – I guess it began with

childhood feelings of worthlessness

suppressing floods of negative feelings

as I conveniently preferred listening

to my own two-way mutterings in my

exclusive private head space trying

not to feel like a lost head case.

 

I used to verbalize my thoughts and

frustrations deep within my mental

chambers – My daily stage performance

since primary school faking my smile

whilst drowning within – The result

 

©  Don Beukes

Excerpt form the book “I Have A Name”


Check out our Submissions Page for future Anthology Publishing opportunities at:

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I Have a Name

Preface  . . .  

We live in a society whereby there is an astounding increase in what is known as ‘the invisible disorders.’  We may be living with one or more of them ourselves, or perhaps it could be our parent, our child, our grandchild or the person working at the desk beside us.  These hidden, or not so hidden disorders are a part of our modern-day life, symptoms of hereditary, dietary, metabolic or chemical unbalances in the body – yet they exist and are very real for the person who lives daily with any of them.

There are many people silently suffering as a result.  They are walking through life feeling lost, unsupported, misunderstood and alone; yet there is hope in acceptance and inclusion.  There is hope when we give these disorders a voice, a name, a face and a place in society.  The collection within these pages are voices, names and faces; the accounts of real people by real people.  They either live with a disorder or have been deeply touched by knowing someone who does.

It is with my profound thanks to all the contributors, for opening themselves up, with the willingness to share these experiences with the world.  “You Have a Name.”

Brenda-Lee Ranta,  author of Allegories, and Myriad of Perceptions

Now Available at: www.ctupublishinggroup.com/anthologies.html

100% of all proceeds from this book are being donated to the “Starving Artist Fund” to assist writers in becoming published authors. Please support a writer today!



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1 reply

  1. Reblogged this on The Salamander Chronicles – Don Beukes and commented:
    This is the whole poem…

    Depression Confession

    Forced to face my inner demons
    I blame myself for my elected
    negligence in understanding my
    historic tsunamis of erratic masked
    emotions – I guess it began with
    childhood feelings of worthlessness
    suppressing floods of negative feelings
    as I conveniently preferred listening
    to my own two way mutterings in my
    exclusive private head space trying
    not to feel like a lost head case.

    I used to verbalise my thoughts and
    frustrations deep within my mental
    chambers – My daily stage performance
    since primary school faking my smile
    whilst drowning within – The result
    of early childhood bullying my
    genetic confusion maybe even a
    necessary illusion –

    Certainly suffering emotional abuse from
    a young age prevented to show emotion
    or not conforming to the rules of a culture or
    nation even a notion – A dismissal of emotions
    I should have understood and recognized the
    triggers, I have had my share of the loss of
    loved ones – A mother father sisters brothers
    uncles and aunts – A family tree too intricate
    to explore yet I admit their passing remains my
    emotional sting – I should have walked away from
    my profession the moment I experienced work place
    oppression even institutionalised racism delivered in a
    decade of foreign cynicism – My denial of my deepening
    depression resulting in difficulties to work, sleep or eat, sinking
    further in dream state alleys of woe drowning in my sorrow fearing
    each tomorrow.

    I’m better now – Somehow walking away from it all and breaking
    the social mold has rejuvenated me healed me renewed me liberated
    me from my emotional sarcophagus – My deepening abyss as I leave
    you with this – My depression confession

    © Don Beukes

    Like

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