I was not born into a house of sin,
But the evil entered in by invitation.
Deceptively, by day he was a bank of sunlit clouds
Beyond the shoreline of a home’s safe harbor.
Waiting for the lighthouse keeper’s sleep,
Then he would creep, silent as the pauses
Between even, dreaming breaths.
Evil, like a sleeping dog.
Evil, cold and clammy, the fog seeped silently
Through cracks of moonless, blackened
A shadow made of 14 stones,
A beast with a clamp of a dangerous hand
To muffle the scream of a child awake in a nightmare.
A monster that growled in awful grown-up threats
Of death with every putrid breath.
I’m suffocated as the fog pulls me into the sea.
Drowning in terror and pain, in bruising, bleeding shame,
Beneath the weight of 14 stones.
I’m pressed to an airless hell
Sure I will float down and down with my innocence
To die on an ocean floor.
Though I breathed and swam and lived,
Oh, my soul, my soul. My soul
In silent devastation cried another ocean.
Upon that sea with sheets of wind-torn trust and a broken mast
My soul. My soul. My soul
Sank with its secret of shame
To lay down again, again beneath those 14 stones
And 14 thousand more.
In the wake of incest children have no shore.
Just lightless, airless nights and fear of fog
And watching bedroom doors
From ocean floors.
© Sandra Lyon Kramer
Excerpt from the book The Only Words my Soul Knows
About the Author
Sandra Lyon Kramer is a poet, artist, and political blogger. Her first published work was an essay that appeared in the “My Turn” column of the Los Angeles Daily News in June of 1992. The following year she won The National Author’s Registry President’s Award for Literary Excellence for “Starless” and was recognized by the International Society of Poets as a Poet of Merit.
Sandra is the former owner of two free-press publications, The Anti-Press and the Reality Press, and was a contributor to the Daily News, the Daily Journal, and Antelope Valley Focus Magazine. She now operates Tiny House Productions in the Los Angeles area and is a frequent participant in open mic events at Tia Chucha’s Centro Cultural in Sylmar, California.
Visit Sandra’s Author page at: www.ctupublishinggroup.com/sandra-lyon-kramer-.html